Who was the first person you encountered today? Write about him or her.

That’s too easy and that’s too hard. I’m retired, no children at home, and so the only person I now see every day when I wake up is my husband. He brings me coffee to facilitate my waking up process, which is very considerate and wise.

We were born four days apart, the same year, but he’s older. We’re both Aquarians, but you wouldn’t have guessed that it if you knew us. We’re like night and day. He’s black and white, and I’m gray, not in hair or mood, but in outlook, in our views of the world. In areas he cares about, he has an opinion, and it is definite. Me, not so much. I can usually see both sides of an issue, and so it takes me longer to make up my mind and form an opinion, or even care. But then again there’s so much we are being asked to care about in Media Land, that I just don’t have time or patience for it all. I have to be selective in order to retain my sanity.

He is typically male in that he sees things as problems to be solved. Men are generally not good listeners, and he is no exception. He will try to solve my problems, dilemmas, or dinner conundrums, as opposed to discussing them. Often we women just want a sounding board, and men aren’t good at that unless we tell them that’s what we want. Women aren’t very good at saying exactly what we want, and I’m no exception. It’s important in a lasting relationship to tell your husband or significant other, what you want — help, a shoulder to cry on, advice, or a sink unclogged, rather than stewing about it (I’ve learned that slowly). Men don’t intuit like women, so we have to step out of ourselves and be assertive in the most feminine, undemanding way we can.

My husband is intelligent, active, and has a wry sense of humor, however he can at times find something so funny that he can’t stop laughing and spouts tears. (I think is a release of inner tension from being so self-controlled.) He’s extremely organized and responsible. I too am responsible, but the opposite in other ways. I’m usually late, try to do things at the last minute (which makes me late), and have few particular routines. I don’t even write this blog at the same time every day. My life is clay, his is stone. For me, each day is amorphous with goals, his is well-defined and quantifiably productive.

He’s tall and has always maintained the same, perfect weight. Wish I could say the same. I’m not a yoyo, but (as women often say use for a measure) I couldn’t fit into my wedding dress. Besides that it would be two short — I was married in the early 1970’s at a non-formal wedding and skirts were considerably shorter then. I was considerably thinner then, too. I’m not heavy, but one of that group of people who would look great if they just lost 20 pounds. I’m also very healthy (thank God), and am quite active.

My husband feels things deeply, but doesn’t wear his emotions on his sleeve. He keeps things inside and when I sense something is wrong, have to prod him a bit to find out what’s bothering him. I think I tend to know something is weighing on him mind before he does, or can identify it. He’s been an exceptional father, with a little less tolerance than I have had, but a laudable ability to forgive.

I’ll be happy to wake up next to him tomorrow.

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