, , ,

We all have complicated histories. When was the last time your past experiences informed a major decision you’ve made?

My past experiences inform almost all of my dicisions, and have for a long time. I have made numerous mistakes in my life; some I most definitely would not repeat — would not even be tempted to make the same stupid choice again.

Today I was anxious to get home after a day of substitute teaching,  but another adult I was with obviously had a need to talk — sometimes you just intuit that someone needs your time, your listening, your bothering to take the time for them. Sometimes a person may have a problem s/he wants to air, or perhaps s/he just feels isolated, or hasn’t had someone to talk to for a while. Whatever the cause, I feel more aware of other people’s feelings then I used to. When I was younger, I was more interested in what I wanted than what other needed from me. I’ve grown to believe that my interactions with people are an important part of being a “good” person — that we are all children of God and as such deserve equal respect (unless they demonstrate they’re not). Obviously that’s not a major decision; but the little decisions we make every day add up and show how we are growing as a person.

As an alcoholic, I have to choose not to drink, frequently Quite honestly I’m not sure I’ve ever been truly tempted since I finally got sober (by the grace of God), but I can’t take that for granted. Sure, there are times a beer or, a gin and tonic, or a glass of champagne would taste good — but it’s really not an option for me. I know better now. That, too, is not a major decision, but a lot of little choices that have added up to one of my major accomplishments and many years of sobriety.

I’m strongly pro-life, but in my youth it really wasn’t on my radar. Some friends had abortions and I regarded it as a personal choice. It’s taken many years for my stance to turn around completely — again, growth and change over time. After having two miscarriages and then four children, I have no doubt that the seeds that were implanted were souls from the start. My egg, my husband’s sperm, God’s image, an zappo-chango, a human being no matter how small. It’s just not in my nature to be confrontational about this (or any) topic, but willing to offer whatever advice and help I can to help others.

I can say for certain that I am a very different person than I was when I was 21 or 30. This person has had to have time to grow, mature, learn, feel, love and become a fuller, more authentic person. I am more “me” than I have ever been, and that’s a big deal.