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You’ve been given the ability to build a magical tunnel that will quickly and secretly connect your home with the location of your choice — anywhere on Earth. Where’s the other end of your tunnel?

I’m not fond of tunnels or caverns or any small enclosed dark places. I’d rather be “beamed-up Scottie” and suddenly appear at the destination of my choosing. Mind you, I’m not that thrilled with flying but I do it frequently. But the post is really about where you’d like to be as quickly as possible.

We live in Northern Virginia and going to Richmond, a mere 90 miles away, takes us down I-95, and I-95 traffic, no matter which direction you’re going, can be brutal. Our last trip took 4 hours. It is summer, so beach and vacation traffic no doubt impacted the traffic volume. The following week my daughter came home by the same route, and was impeded on her return by parents’ full-to-the-brim cars taking their students to Mary Washington University. Her drive to Richmond was almost four hours, too. In the best of conditions it can be done comfortably in less than 2 hours.

I dearly love my daughter in Seattle (and her children) and don’t see nearly as much of her as I’d like. What a pleasure it would be to have a tunnel or teletransportation available to make that trip! I looked up quantum teleportation to see if any progress was being made, but so far they’ve only been able to “transport” atoms — that’s a long way from a person.

The tunnel idea is appealing to me because my husband and I are both terrible drivers — not that we hit things repeatedly, but because we just find driving a long distance unpleasant. We’ve tried books on tape, which help a lot, but a driving trip across the United States, even at our own pace, does not inspire us. Our Seattle daughter lived in Michigan previously, and while we flew half the time we visited her, we also drove a number of times. Eight hours wouldn’t phase many Americans, but it was like purgatory for us.

I’m not sure I can pick only one location for a tunnel exit; I guess it would have to be Seattle. Perhaps not a very exciting proposition when there are so many more exotic places to choose, but I see my other 3 children and grandchildren frequently because they live nearby, and I’d like to be “closer” to her.

Now, “a secret tunnel” implies I only can have just one; “secret” doesn’t necessarily mean I would be invisible at the other end, but I can assume my entrance point would be. I would love to spend time spying on the Oval Office finding out what’s really going on in this administration. There are so many unanswered questions, implausible excuses, so many whys, that I’d just like some answers to my questions (by overhearing, not by asking and being detained forever). Of course, I’d have to be sure POTUS was in town.

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