, , , ,

What’s the first line of the last song you listened to (on the radio, on your music player, or anywhere else)? Use it as the first sentence of your post.

My daughter played this song from her playlist last time we visited her, and my husband picked up his guitar and tried to play along. The first attempt wasn’t so good, but he’s been working on it for two weeks now, so I’ve heard the song several a day.

How can you just walk on by
without one tear in your eye
don’t you have the slightest feeling left for me
Maybe that’s just your way of dealing with your pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

This song breaks my heart as much as it does Faith’s sad character. I get a vivid image in my mind of this handsome guy out having a good time when his ex passes him and just can’t understand how he can seem so happy, while she’s feeling this emptiness.

I’ve never had a serious relationship outside of marriage, but sometimes I’ve felt like things weren’t going well and wondered if my marriage was working? Is it worth it? I don’t think I’m unusual in feeling that way; I suspect a lot of married people have thought that. If you take the marriage commitment seriously, though, you have to be persistent. Once you’ve had kids, you’ve got others’ lives to consider. While I believe that sometimes divorce is the best solution, I also think it happens too frequently. The greatest problem I’ve faced in marriage is effective communication, and over the years, I’ve learned how to assert myself better and set boundaries. I had to take responsibility for fixing my weakness. There’s a great saying that “when you change, others around you change, too.” Or “Your behavior tells others how to treat you.” I’ve seen it happen.

Relationships take work, and they need to grow. Children change a marriage making it both more difficult and more fulfilling. People sometimes forget that marriage isn’t a mutual admiration society; sometimes one spouse has to work through a problem helping the their partner to be a better person, to grow, to achieve something important. Sometimes you won’t agree (can’t agree), and you have to accept the other person’s point of view, and figure out how to work around it. Marriage is hard.

Nevertheless I’ve seen marriages and relationships break up and it seems like one person is more shaken by it, or taken by surprise, than the other. I often wonder how you can love someone so much, and then stop loving them — and not suffer from the separation. Well, I may never know; I hope I don’t. But some do, and Faith Hill gives them a voice in her song.

My title comes from the old Dionne Warwick hit “Walk on By”, where she states If you see me walking down the street and I start to cry each time we meet, just walk on by.” Guess she and Faith have something in common.