Have you ever faced a difficult situation when you had to choose between sorting it out yourself, or asking someone else for an easy fix? What did you choose — and would you make the same choice today?
I’m pretty stubborn, and will generally try to muddle through by myself. Often I feel I have (or should have) the ability to figure things out for myself, and so I usually do. If I make a decision, I have learned that there is no reason to go back and “what if” myself, wondering if I did make the right decision, or should have gone the other way. Once some decisions are made, there’s no going back. What’s past is past.
Some choices I make on my own because it’s something I really want and feel that others may try to change my mind. Some of those have gone fine — others have been met with resentment because other feel I should have asked their opinions. Some things you just have to do on your own.
(Obviously, family choices are a different matter. Husband and wives and sometimes the offspring have to give and take and make the best decision for the whole.)
I remember quite distinctly when I realized I was “on my own”. I was in my exchange year at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland (my “junior” year abroad) and I wanted to stay and finish my education there even though it would mean and extra year of college. Some of my credits from the States wouldn’t count towards my degree.
No doubt I plagued my friends about what I should do — and talked to my mother in what were then expensive phone calls (1966). She was no help at all (she was a poor decision-maker anyway, so I don’t know what I expected from her), but all of a sudden I realized this was a decision I had to make on my own, when what I wanted most was somebody to tell me what to do — what was the “right” choice.
I went with my heart, for I loved St. Andrews by then, and stayed. For all the difference it has made in my life, it was the best decision I could have made. It changed me for the better and created a bank of memories, feelings, and friends that I could have gained no where else. And I married someone I met there.
But now and then, I still have that feeling that I’d just like someone to tell me what to do so the decision making process can end — unless it’s my husband!