Do you believe in fate or do you believe you can control your own destiny?
I believe that God has a plan for us. (The God of your and the God of my understanding.) I can’t explain some of the things that have happened to me without coming back to this belief. But we can derail God’s plan for us or get off on the wrong track. Fate plays a big part, but we can ignore the signs, or slam the door shut on opportunities. Or we can be open to change, to “intuition”, and to the “small still voice.”
When I get lost, or I don’t know what to do next, I like the AA slogan, “Do the next right thing.” Usually we can figure that out, even if we can’t see past the next hour or day. Just stringing together a bunch of “right things” is not a bad way to live.
My son and daughter recently asked for my husband’s and my advice on life changing events — different problems, different choices. My advice was that you can only do what seems like the best thing at the time. They both had given their eventual choices a great deal of thought, but wanted assurance if it was the “right” decision. Who knows? I’ve been faced with big decisions many times in my life — and did the best I could at the time with the information I had. Sometimes they weren’t the “best” choices, but certainly learned from them and they clarified my vision for the future, and gave me more knowledge for future decisions.
Unfortunately, we don’t know the plan. We have to try to figure life out as we go along. Being conscientious in decision-making is the best we can do to control our destiny.
I’ve found that there are some rules that I try to remember when I’m making decisions: the Golden Rule, the Ten Commandments, AA’s Twelve Steps, the Beatitudes — and the wisdom of others in quotes we can recall or even seek our for advice. Being honest with ourselves about our motives, needs (not wants), and our personal abilities are crucial too in choosing our path — especially when most decisions impact others to — who are on their own path.