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My life is a series of maybes. Or mights. Or coulds. I’m not very decisive on some important things — and at the moment that includes losing weight and giving up smoking. I know why. I’m just not willing to give up things I like. Like peanut butter (or almond butter), granola, and cigarettes (smoked not chewed).

Why is there a human tendency to sabotage ourselves, because I think there is. I know many people in my boat. A few have taken the life preservers, the majority haven’t. Like me, they prefer to coast along on the endless sea, and wait until they see something sure, something real, some easier way than throwing themselves in the ocean.

Is it a fear I’ll fail? With cigarettes, certainly, but can even say I’ve tried and failed. This is despite the fact that I know it’s no good for me and people who love me want me to stop smoking. I’ve got excuses, but no good reasons. I can justify, minimize, and procrastinate, but eventually I will actually have to DO something, because I’m getting really tired of my excuses.