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The story of my life. Unfinished projects and plans are scattered around me, like the falling leaves on my front lawn.

I have more ideas than I have the time, inclination, or energy to finish. My mind is a crazy place, filled with ideas that fight with each other for space and attention. In order to enable myself to finish jobs, I have to talk to myself, chiding myself every time I jump to something else before I’ve finished what I have started. I find self-talk very helpful, but not perfect.

I have to admit that I realize I’m crazy, and because of an anxiety disorder and ADD, I do take medication and have had counseling, though I’ve had enough of that to gain the tools to help me in my mental disorganization.

There really are so many things to do, potentially, and not enough time to do them. When you think of all the possibilities that life has to offer, one could be trying and learning new things all the time, even at my stage of life (age 68).

mainlonglistTravel is important to me and I still have a bucket list of places I’d like to visit. They were always “in the future”, but the future is now because our time to travel easily is shortening. Italy is on the top of my list, but after a week in Spain two years ago, that’s another country I’d like to explore more. It’s just plain big, and the different regions can be very different.

So basically my life is unfinished. I have lots that I still want to do and accomplish while I still have the energy to do them. What I have to work on is making the plans and focusing on which are more important to me.

Then there’s the unfinished business. Two years ago my husband’s father died at 95; his wife had died seventeen years earlier. For the last 7 years of his life he was plagued with not-treated-early-enough shingles, and eventually cancer. He ended his days in a care home. His house was a mess; there were still things from his wife, and remnants of his long, busy, and interesting life. We took that as a lesson and have really tried to start weeding out possessions that have meaning only for us, and not leave it to our children.

I suspect all lives are unfinished in the end, especially those cut short. God has blessed us both with good health and a great family. I anticipate that we will still have many adventures and events that will tick off items on our “unfinished” list.

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