I’m faced with another person I care about dying of cancer. For some reason, I accept death; I try to live one day at a time and appreciate each moment. When I go out in the car I think “I might die on this trip,” even if it’s an ordinary like going to yoga or the grocery store. You just NEVER know.
I’m not a religious person, but spiritual. I came to the realization that my life was finite some long time ago. I believe in a good God, not a vengeful one who will list my sins as soon as I pass out of this life. I expect the next phase of life to reveal things I don’t now understand. I don’t want to die, but I don’t fear death either.
Nevertheless, I do resent it when people I care about are snatched from this life before they want to go. They have plans, people who love them, a reason for being here. My brother-in-law was taken at a point in his life when everything was going well — owning and profiting from a business he loved, a caring wife, children and grandchildren, a lovely home he had definitely earned. Then cancer, almost three years of suffering with grace, dignity and faith, and death just before Easter and the arrival of the Risen Lord. Ironic. Sad. Inexplicable.
My favorite saying is “Life is what happens when you had something else planned”. I know that to be true; but knowing and feeling are two different things and they tug at each other. Sometimes with a vengeance.
We all know we’re dying. A pit-of-my-stomach fear sometimes grabs me unawares, when the immensity of that truth is crystal clear. I will die. Then what. I believe, so I do my best to accept. And trust that God will be waiting for me and tell me WHY.
That’s all. I just had to get that out while I prepare to visit a dear friend (cousin by marriage) and “be there for her”. And her husband. And her sister who is visiting from England. She is in the hands of God now, and hospice care begins in a home she loves, surrounded by nature in the lovely mountains of Virginia. Nature is God’s perfect creation, we are not. But we all live by the same rules: life, death, renewal; a cycle that continues as surely as the waves meet the shore.
Why is that sad and why does it hurt?
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Each of us is so different in how we think about and interpret life. I began leaving a comment for you on this post but it became so lengthy I thought it might seem intrusive. Therefore, I’ve turned it into a post on “Transformation” on my own site.
For now, let me offer some comfort to you to cherish every moment you have with loved ones but to also view death not as a final ending per se but a natural progression, a “transformation” to the next chapter
I also love hugs and am sending a warm one to you today. Thank you for visiting my site. I appreciate the inspiration you share.
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I like that transformation point of view, because that’s kind of how I view the “afterlife”. I always feel that all the “lessons” we learn in life, the growth we experience through joy and sorrow, cannot be wasted and have a greater meaning. Thus, I think our souls, our essence, do go on. Thanks your your reply and kind comments.
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We start thinking about death more the older we get. My mother-in-law began giving things away 30 years before she died. I think she was surprised it took so long cause she was sure ready long before the actual event!
When I was 54, now 65, my MIL asked me how old I was? She said when she was 54 she thought for sure she’d be dead by the time she was 60, and here she was at 90 something. She said to her surprise she just kept living and living! She was 97 when death came after being in ill health for so very many years.
I had an NDE at 45 after a huge surgery and sepsis. I didn’t want to come back but was told it wasn’t my time…there was still something I was appointed to do, and although revealed while there, was told I’d forget it once back in my body, but could come home once that was done. Apparently, I’ve still yet to do it, whenever that is!
In the meantime, I’m not afraid of death. I just hate the act of dying. Been there, done that! I’ll go in my sleep, thank you very much!
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I know a few people who have had a near death experience, and none were afraid of dying after it. I, too, came close to death, but not as close as you, and came away with the feel that if God had spared me, then I must still have a purpose to fulfill. While I know that each day could be my last (just because death is like that), I try to go forward with purpose and trying to stay in touch with my soul as much as is possible.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment.
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That’s why God is a father to the fatherless and a mother to the motherless
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Yes death is real. My mom passed away from cancer when I was 10 years old and she was 50. With God, it’s getting easier to cope with.
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I don’t know how you (or I) would get through it without a belief in God. My dad died when I was fourteen, and I know what a loss that was and how long it took for me to accept it. There are so many questions you ask, aren’t there? Why? Where did he/she go? Why so soon? And we won’t get the answers in this life.
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Hi oneanna65 Life is unpredictable that’s for sure! Thank you for liking “On Edge!” Peace and Best Wishes. TheFoureyedPoet.
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I always say (probably ad nauseum to my kids) that it’s not the things that you worry about that get you, it’s things that come out of the blue, unexpected.
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Reblogged this on Still Another Writer's Blog.
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Life can be filled with so many losses and e because our heart is so filled with love that pain when it comes affects us even more deeply. Death is a reality but that does not make it hurt any less especially when it takes someone close to us. Thanks for sharing and although I have no profound words of wisdom am sending lots of long distance hugs. Be blessed!
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Thank you. I always accept hugs and take every opportunity to give them. I agree with you that it’s the depth of love that causes the pain. Yet, to have loved someone is still better than evading loving, close relationships. It’s all life!
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I’m so sorry about your friend. Death is the natural end to all of us, but it is still so sad to lose a loved one (especially before they are ready to go) and it is still scary to contemplate our own end. Like you, I don’t quite understand it, but I try hard to accept it.
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It hurts because you are an empathetic, loving person. Whatever our spiritual belief, and however we come to terms with the death of loved ones, sometimes we just want our loved one back, as they were in health, living vital lives. Oh, if we could make this happen! Perhaps in the afterlife, if it comes, we will understand and rejoice what we don’t know now. Blessings to you and those you love.
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My dad died when I was 14. I’ve now lived far longer than he. I always hope that he knows how large our family has become with children and grandchildren — that he’s a part of them. I have accepted that I will not/cannot understand dying (and the meaning of life) until the afterlife (hopefully). Thank you for your comment.
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Big Hug!
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Thank you; hugs are good.
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You are welcome!
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Reblogged this on cancer killing recipe and commented:
Hello my dear readers! I’m working on my new page entitled “Waiting for Eternity”. I’m very slow… I hope I can be done with it in a week or two.
Browsing this morning through blogs about God I found this interesting page and I want to share with you…
Is about God, Death and Life.
God bless.
Oneanna65
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Thank you.
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